Despicable Family
by Hari Koen
Summary: First Headline - Aliens Attack London!  First story arc complete!  When Gru agrees to hire a henchwench, a series of events happen that will test the bonds he has with his adopted daughters.
1. Delilah DeBaucher

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Despicable Me right now but give me a few years to write show ideas, get an animation studio, find some funding for the rights then maybe I can say I own it.

A/N: I absolutely loved Despicable Me and went to see it three times in two weeks. All the adults, minus Fred and I kinda find Vector annoying, were full of awesome sauce. I adore villains and got to reconnect with some of my childhood loves as well being introduced to villains I never heard before while writing this story. This is the first time I ever written a major original character before and it took me a long time to settle on her looks, voice and personality, hopefully I won't change it and really hoping I will like her. I don't really like OCs because I find most of them lacking in personality and in fanfic a lot of them are cliche. Currently I have ideas for her hoping I'll like her half as much as I like the characters she based off of. If you're looking for romance then you came to the wrong place. I won't write a romantic story about my OC and Gru until I come out with a sequel for this story and it won't be among the Despicable Family title.

I wrote Gru's dialogue just using plain words because I really don't want to juggle different accents. Gru is going to have a Hungarian accent despite being of Russian descent. Why Hungarian? According to the Rolling Stone's review they pin pointed his accent as that. Plus on IMDB, Steve Carell describes his accent as a cross between Ricardo Montalban and Bela Lugosi.

As for updates I will be going by a weekly schedule, posting on the weekends. So please read, enjoy and review and I'll see you next week.

* * *

Chapter 1: Delilah DeBaucher

On a beautiful June morning in a regular suburban neighborhood – regular if you include dozens of 'For Sale' signs and a large black house sitting in between the rows of identical houses – there were three little girls playing outside with a dog. As they enjoyed themselves in the bright sunlight a tank-like vehicle drove down the street and parked in the driveway next door to the property the girls were playing in.

From the vehicle a tall, bald man with blue eyes, stepped out carrying a package of pastries. "Girls, I'm home," he called out, his voice had a distinct Hungarian accent.

"Morning, Mr Gru," the girls answered back as they abandoned the dog in favor of the large man.

Gru looked over the three girls, Margo, Edith and Agnes, and noticed how dirty they were. At fifty-one years old Gru had spent all his adult life on his career of choice: villainy. All of that had been flipped upside down a few weeks ago when he adopted three orphan girls to, unwittingly, help him further his latest plot: to steal the moon. It took them thirteen days to worm into his heart and now he is the proud adopted father of bossy Margo, tomboyish Edith and adorable Agnes.

"Wasn't Dr Nefario supposed to be watching over you?"

"He said he wasn't feeling very well…" The girl named Edith answered. Something about her manner suggested that she knew the reason why the doctor was incapable of watching them.

"Morning, Gru!" Gru's next-door neighbor, Fred MacDade, stepped out of his house and approached the fence dividing the two properties. In his hands he carried a tray with three mugs filled with hot cocoa and offered them to the girls who each took a mug with glee.

The ex-villain sighed. "Morning, Fred. I hope you didn't mind watching the girls while I was away."

"Heavens, no! The misses and I love watching these girls. Plus the dog has been getting much needed exercise because of them." The younger man laughed. Fred was your run of the mill suburbanite. He had dark brown hair, glasses and a mustache. Plus he had an unleashed dog.

Gru's hairy eyebrows lowered in a frown. He didn't like his neighbor's dog but he wasn't going to allow his girls to let their family…dog, Kyle, out. Kyle was an experimental creature Dr Nefario, Gru's right hand henchman, created for security reasons. Unfortunately, the two men were unable to tame the vicious beast until five-year-old Agnes had a hand in domesticating…it. Even though the grey hairball with teeth does listen to Gru and the girls, it was best to avoid any unnecessary questioning from neighbors and any potential situations that involved the presence of the police.

"Well, thank you, Fred," Gru said without a hint of gratitude. "Come girls, let's go inside."

"Where do you go every morning now? When we wake up it's always Uncle Nefario telling us to keep quiet and behave until you get back." Margo looked at her adopted father with a hint of concern. The younger girls were more interested in the box of goodies hanging from Gru's thin fingers.

"Don't worry about it." Gru opened the front door and ushered the children in. The sight of Dr Nefario face down on the ground greeted them as they entered the hall. Kyle, the 'dog,' was gnawing on the man's left leg. Lying on the floor just out of reach for the old man was the mace Gru uses for home security. As Gru moved closer he could hear the old man say 'why me' over and over again.

"Ah, bad, pretty puppy," Agnes stated as she grabbed the sadistic creature. Once in her arms Kyle quieted down.

The new father sighed again; this wasn't going to be a good morning. "Girls, go wash up." He wasn't going to bother asking what happened right now.

As the three walked away with Kyle he heard his eldest daughter say, "I told you so, Edith."

Grabbing the older man's arms, Gru pulled his good friend up resulting in a nasty sounding snap that came from the doctor's spine. "Ow!"

"Are you alright, Dr Nefario?" He watched as his assistant crack his back into shape.

"How long is this going to last, Gru? This 'disappearing for hours' every morning? I'm not getting any younger!"

"I just have a lot on my mind, chillax," the villain said dismissively as he began to walk away. "Did you finish with my order?"

"Don't change the subject!" Dr Nefario scowled as he dusted himself. He looked up to see the taller man's retreating back. Satisfied with the quick job on his clothes the scientist rushed to his employer's side. "But if you must know, yes I did," the doctor then handed a bottle of scotch to the surprised man.

"Wait. What is this?" Gru asked as he opened the bottle. Sounds of birds were heard from inside the glass container. Turning the label Gru's blue eyes read the description, 'Hawky Squawky Scotch.' He screwed the lid back on and sighed for the third time. It was barely half an hour since he returned home. "I had said 'Walkie Talkie Watches. Look, I better get back to the girls. I'll talk to you later." He handed back the bottle to the shorter man. As he walked away he muttered under his breath, "Another reason to add to the list."

Although his hearing has been going recently, Dr Nefario was able to catch that. He knew what it was about; it was time to make that call.

* * *

Later that evening Gru was tucking in his daughters into their bomb beds.

"Girls, did you wash up before bed?'

"I, uh, washed my face."

"…"

"Agnes, why is your hair full of knots!"

"Quit it!"

"Margo, your hair is also tangled"

"Hey Gru. I'm thirsty."

"Edith, you shouldn't drink before beddybye."

"Can you read this book to us?

"…Where is the book I wrote for you?"

"…Can you please read this one tonight?"

"You always read your book to us!"

"Edith!"

"Sorry Gru, but can't you read something else for a change?"

A long sigh rang out from the room. In a monotone voice he quickly read through the book keeping his complaints ("Where did you find this? In a dumpster?") to a minimum. He was able to get the girls tucked in with a hug and a goodnight kiss.

Afterward the exhausted man dragged his aged body to the living room to find Dr Nefario standing there in person, waiting for him. Behind him the entrance to the secret lair sat waiting to bring people down. "What is the matter?"

"Gru, there's someone I want you meet." Just then the doorbell rang.

Gru pulled out his Nova Blaster (used at the carnival) and aimed at the door as he looked out the peephole. Dr Nefario followed closely not wanting Gru to kill his acquaintance. The older man pushed the other aside to see who it was.

"Password?"

"Juan Ponce de León is in Florida."

"Ah, Delilah DeBaucher I presume?" Gru lowered his gun as Dr Nefario greeted the late guest.

"Right on, old man." In walked a very thin and tall twenty five year old woman. She had wavy shoulder length strawberry blonde hair tucked behind her ears. Make up was piled on her face, hiding her green eyes and giving her a creepy red smile. Her outfit was a full-length leather jump suit that was open on top showing the yellow top underneath. The collar of the black jump suit was turned upwards giving the woman a rebel without cause feel. Around her small hips hung a large belt with a whip hanging off from a clip. To the other side she carried a large black bag and she held a black clipboard in her hands. She looked up to the taller man and offered her hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Gru."

The instant Gru saw her he knew what the other man was thinking. "No."


	2. Disaster in the Lab

Disclaimer: No, still don't own Gru or his minions yet. I also don't own Professor Norton Nimnul and his FOGIE device; they are the property of Disney.

A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed chapter 1 last week. I began rewriting chapter 2 after posting chapter 1 and I had so much fun writing this chapter, hopefully you'll enjoy reading it.

Delilah DeBaucher finally has some decent dialogue in this chapter and for those of you, who can't imagine her voice, please look up a show called "Bitchin Kitchen" on YouTube. I spent weeks thinking of a voice for her and then the idea smacked me the head when I was about to watch Nadia G's cooking show. Now that I have a "Bitchin Kitchen" connection with Despicable Me, I can't help but think that Hanz looks a lot like Gru. XD

So please, read, enjoy and review and I'll see you next week.

* * *

Chapter 2: Disaster in the Lab

"Gru! Give her a chance. She has an excellent resume and for years we were thinking of hiring extra help," the aged scientist argued pronouncing his words according to his Australian drawl. In his hand he waved a professionally done resume. On it Ms DeBaucher put her objective as 'henchwoman to a super villain.'

"We have all the help that we need. We created the minions for that very reason." Gru argued back. The three of them stood around the foyer because the owner to the house did not want to track in too much blood when he was done with the guest.

"Hey, give a girl a break, eh?" Delilah DeBaucher had a semi-husky voice that had traces of an Italian accent.

"Listen to me, Gru. I've known her for a while now and I'm quite impressed with her skills."

"Thanks." She looked at the doctor, batted her mascara clumped lashes and widen her bright red lips in a smile.

The villain was not remotely interested in 'this woman' whatsoever. Personally he wanted to stay away from the femme fatale types due to the fact that many of his peers in the past had fallen from villainy because of such women. Although this DeBaucher girl was a far cry from the title. He wasn't going to deny that she was attractive but the way she acted and carried herself wasn't what he would expect from a woman applying for a job under a villain as a femme fatale. In fact her personality was more of rock and roll fan then a deadly temptress. This woman probably applied because of the glamorous and often dangerous lifestyle instead of finding an easy way up the villain ladder. None the less he wasn't going to test this theory and decided to get rid of her by using his freeze ray. But before he could pull the trigger she had disarmed him with her whip, making the weapon fly through the air in an arch, enabling her to catch it easily with her left hand. Gru had to blink at that.

"See. Impressive." Dr Nefario gestured at the woman who was looking over the freeze ray. "By the way did you bring that weapon with you? We should show Gru some of your machinist skills."

DeBaucher walked up to Gru and offered the freeze ray back to him. "Here ya go, Boss."

"Look, sorry. You are very skilled but we're not hiring. We don't have the funds!"

"I been doing the numbers we have more then enough to contract her for a year." The younger man frowned, he should really take a look into the accounting books.

"Well, what are we going to do with her if I decide to hire her?"

"For now she'll be restructuring the minions, their numbers keep expanding and it's getting difficult to keep all of them organize by myself among my other duties in the lab. We'll need the extra help since you want to remain a father to those girls."

"What if I refuse to hire her?"

"Allocco," the woman coughed. She stood causally admiring the decor of the entry hall, ignoring the death glare coming from the large man. On her right she noticed three rectangular imprints on the wall, evidence that there was some sort of picture frames there before.

"If you refuse, I'll be forced to give my Letter of Resignation."

"What!" Gru looked at the doctor in surprise.

"I'm very old, Gru. With you not helping out in the lab nowadays I fear that I must retire," Dr Nefario said as he gestured to DeBaucher's bag while she was distracted by the missing picture frames. Then he looked at Gru, finally the younger of the two realized what the older man was getting at. Rubbing the back of his head Gru nodded.

"Alright," turning his attention to the young woman. "You shall be hired. I, too, would like to see this weapon you have brought with you.

"Great! My dear girl, come, bring that thing with you! I've been dying to see it."

The three of them entered the living room which was half empty with a bright blue tube in near one end of the room. This was the entrance to the secret lair.

Dr Nefario had set it to bring multiple people down to the lair, he was the first to go down the chute.

As the remaining two adults waited for the lift to come back, Gru turned to his new employee with a look of disgust. "FYI, you're face looks like a blind clown gave you a make over."

"Gee, thanks. I was going to say that it'll to be my pleasure to work for an infamous cicciobomba like you but now I'm just going to say you're just a cicciobomba.

"Vacă." Gru retorted as the lift came back up.

"Don't you mean felină?" DeBaucher was faster than the bald man and descended to the sublevels before Gru could say anything more.

* * *

"Hey Margo, did you hear that?"

The brunette blinked awake automatically reaching for her glasses. "Hear what, Edith?"

"I heard a woman's voice."

"I heard it, too."

The three children strand their hearing enough to catch a female voice say, "it'll be a great pleasure to work for an infamous cicciobomba like you..."

* * *

Gru's secret lair was like a large metal cavern big enough to house a rocket spaceship. Metal beams connected one end to the other as yellow pill shaped beings traveled to and fro on the narrow bridges. Dr Nefario explained to the newcomer that they were Minions, creatures he and Gru created. On the way to the testing area DeBaucher was surprised to see the number of minions scurrying around. She observed them as she spoke to the scientist who was giving her some background information about their design. A few of them looked their way and waved. Some of them came up and walked with their boss who was trying to ignore the fact that there was a woman in his secret lair. Looking around the surprisingly large space DeBaucher saw that the minions were engaged in several different activities such as cleaning, building and having relay races after getting dizzy from running in circles around a wooden ruler.

"Hey! Hey! Get back to work!"

"Awww…," the collective group of ten or so minions cried. "Bing kat?"

"Anything! Just go!"

They reached the testing lab and the slim woman pulled out a bagpipe with a futuristic barrel and muzzle attached to it out of her bag.

"What is that?" Gru asked. He had a look of confusion and disbelief.

"This is a replica of the late Professor Nimnul's Fast Oldness Generating Invention Experimental, or FOGIE for short, that I made."

Dr Nefario rubbed his hands in anticipation besides the strawberry blonde haired woman.

"How does it work?" Gru asked intrigued, he came to stand beside the doctor.

"Well," Ms DeBaucher said as she placed the gun on the table, "I'm not sure. I haven't really tested it. It's supposed to age whatever object you fire the ray at."

"Oh, sure. That sounds real useful." Gru folded his arms signaling his disappointment.

Before DeBaucher could retort to her boss's snarky comment, an excited Dr Nefario blocked her view of the taller man. "Well, then, let's give it a go."

The three adults turned their attention back to the table to find the weapon has gone missing.

Behind them they heard the voice of a little girl. "Cool, what does this do?" Ten feet away stood a blonde little girl wearing a beanie holding the bagpipe like device.

"Edith! Don't touch that!" Another girl with brown hair and glasses ran up to the little blonde girl followed by a little girl with black hair and ten minions of various shapes and sizes. Gru recognized them as the ones he caught playing earlier.

"Hi, Mr Gru," Agnes beamed at her adopted father.

"Girls?" Gru looked at his children in disbelief. Didn't he just tuck them in?

"Hey, put that down! There's a non-recognition self-destruct mechanism built in. Meaning that it'll blow up if someone other than me touches it," DeBaucher warned as she and Dr Nefario began backing away.

A beeping sound started to emit from the device notifying everyone that it was too late, the countdown has started. Nearby minions started to panic.

"This is going better then I planned," the oldest man said as he nodded to himself.

"What do you mean? I thought we were going to take the device from the girl so that you could experiment with it."

"What? No, I was going to use it on your girls so that they would grow up. That way you could get back to work and still be a father. But this will work too."

"You were going to…!" Gru started.

"You're just using me for that? How dare you!" DeBaucher turned to the shorter man in anger.

"Hellooo! Ticking time bomb over there!" Edith yelled. The girls were a safe forty feet away. The minions who were with them had decided to bring the girls to safety. Keeping the girls and their jobs, intact.

"Jorge! Matt!" Gru yelled. He had not moved from his spot by the lab table. "Get rid of that thing!" He yelled as pointed to the beeping bagpipe on the ground, ten feet away from him.

The obliviously frightened pair ran up and grabbed the constantly beeping FOGIE device. They stood shaking momentary; eyes roamed back and forth looking for a place to safely throw the explosive. Around them other minions who were safely away yelled different and sometimes contradicting directions

"Over to the disposal unit," Dr Nefario yelled over the intercom. He and DeBaucher were safe in the lab's bunker, which was a good one hundred feet away. Gru turned towards them in surprise. 'How did they get over there so fast?'

The two now screaming minions made a mad dash to the disposal unit, heading straight towards a shocked Gru. "No, no, no!"

As the two minions raced, the bagpipe folded causing the pair to trip and fall, giving the device flight through the air. Everything seemed to slow down. Hordes of minions with various expressions of horror watched the flight of the now blaring bagpipe. The three girls were crying for Mr Gru as the minions held them back in place. Dr Nefario and DeBaucher both watched with morbid fascination mixed with some concern as they followed with eyes wide open as the FOGIE device detonated on impact at the large man's feet. The explosion of pink lights temporary blinded everyone who was watching the unfolding drama.

And then silence.

* * *

Allocco – jerk

Cicciobomba – fatso

Vacă – stupid woman (cow)

Felină – slim, good, looking woman (cat)


	3. Epiphany

Disclaimer: Do you really have to ask?

A/N: When I started thinking up this story I had three major inspiration/goals in mind. The first one is Delilah DeBaucher. She is mostly based on my love of Harley Quinn although she will definitely not fall in love with Gru the way Harleen did with the Joker. She is more based on the general idea of the female assistants to villains, how and why did they work for such evil people? The second big inspiration is my secret. There are a few hints in this story, and maybe some in the sequel story but I'm slowly building it up for the third, possibly, the forth story. Currently I'm trying to keep the plotline humor based but down the line around the third story it will become a bit darker in terms of themes. The third thing is my goal to pay tribute to villains, especially my favorite villains. Last chapter I had Professor Norton Nimnul's name come up. He's not exactly one of my favorites but I do remember him from my childhood when I used to watch Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers. Here and there I'll be inserting some reference to other villains but don't worry, I won't be doing any crossovers.

This chapter I hope I could get some feedback. Thank you Ariels Lament, DP Shrine in the closet girl, Cyclone1164 and Tsukidorobou for giving me your opinions. I, personally, don't think I'm a very good writer. So telling me what you like and don't like about my writing really helps me.

So, like always, please read, enjoy and review and I'll see you next week.

* * *

Chapter 3: Epiphany

"Mr Gru!"

A large dust cloud had formed around the blast site. From it Gru's coughing can be heard alerting everyone that he had survived. The girls were still being held back by the minions, they were unsure if it was safe for the girls yet. All of them knew what it was like to be caught in the aftermath of a failed experiment and they did not want these sweet girls to know the feeling. All Margo, Edith and Agnes could do was anxiously wait for their adopted father's familiar form to emerge from the dust.

The two remaining adults had already begun to make their way to the detonation site. Dr Nefario was the only one who was qualified to say it was safe to go there. Although the smoke had not settled yet, the two were able to make their way the destroyed remains of the FOGIE device.

"Not much that we can salvage. Is it possible to re-create the weapon or its effects?" The man asked his female accomplice.

"Uh…"

_Flashback_

In a tiny, cramped apartment filled with various weapons and tools, DeBaucher was seen working on a much cluttered worktable. Lining the walls of the apartment were newspaper clippings with various headlines. Pyramid Stolen, Shrinking Moon, World's Last Hope is Lost and Jumbotron Taken were some of the headlines that jumped out. Plans for the FOGIE device was sprawled on the work surface as she worked on a component with a soldering iron. The blueprints themselves were a little worse for wear dotted with coffee strains, watermarks and not to mention some grease stains. DeBaucher set the soldering iron down to squint at the white writing, unknowingly catching the plans on fire. In a puff of smoke they were gone.

"Oh, poop."

_End of flashback_

"Unfortunately the original plans were destroyed on my way here by…*cough*… some ninjas that attacked me."

"Ninjas?"

"Excuse me. I don't appreciate the lack of concern for the life of your employer."

The two adults finally turned their attention to the man caught in the explosion. Finally the dust had settled and they could clearly see what kind of damage had befallen on the villain. For a few moments no one said anything. After a while Dr Nefario's face split into a giant grin. "You…look…*pft*…alive and well."

DeBaucher didn't comment. She couldn't. Her body shook and tears were forming around her eyes. "Ex-xcuse me," she said as she ran off.

"I don't want her to get lost so…," Dr Nefario said as he followed her direction with that grin plastered on his face.

The villain stared furiously at the retreating backs of his two employees, seriously thinking about firing the both of them. Or at least the woman. Suddenly he was tackled to the ground by a swarm of minions followed by his three little girls. "We're so sorry, Mr Gru!" The girls sobbed. The scene was awkward as the girls stood off to the side crying while the minions piled themselves on to their boss, wailing with relief that he was alright. Fortunately the blue-eyed villain managed to crawl out of the bottom of the minion pile.

"Are you girls all right?" Although the accent was unmistakable, the sudden high pitch squeak his voice took on in the middle of the sentence was a shock to all those who knew him, especially himself.

'Oh, no, no, no.' Standing by his girls he was horrified to know that his chin barely reached the top of Margo's head. Putting his hands in front of his face he saw that his arms could not reach to the ends of the sleeves without him rolling them up. Feeling the top of his head he found out that his curly auburn hair was back and reached down to his chin. His small hands traveled over his face and down to feel that his large, round head was resting on a slender neck that he had not seen for decades. The large turtleneck sweater he wore was being held up by his thin arms, showing off his small shoulders. The rest of the sweater draped around him and collected around his feet. By some cartoon miracle he was able to feel that his underwear was fitted securely on his waist.

Soft chuckles were heard first before Edith fell to the ground by her fits of laughter. "Oh god, Grandma was right! You DO look like an ugly girl!"

Little Agnes followed suit, clutching her stomach as peals of high pitch giggles rocked her body from side to side. "You're…s-so…funny LOOKING!"

Margo was a bit more tactful and tried her best to contain her giggles.

"Alright it's really time for the beddy bye," Gru said with as much authority as he could muster but his developing vocal cords clearly denied any respect he would have maintained. That was the final straw. All three girls rocked with laughter. Losing patience fast, he used one hand to pick up his sweater from off the floor, showing off his #1 Dad boxers, and then he succeeded in picking up young Agnes. Somehow he was able to guide both Margo and Edith out of the lair.

Once he left with the girls the all the monitors turned on with a recording of Gru telling the girls it was bed time. The whole lair erupted with laughter causing a few minions to fall hysterically from a few high beams.

* * *

The tired pre-teen got the girls to finally get in bed. He achieved this feat by staying quiet. He knew from his first experience with puberty that his voice cracked for years. He never heard the end of it from strangers, teachers, classmates and, of course, his mother. Now he was reliving the worst of his youth. Horrific plans involving two of his employees were forming in his head, giving him a dark façade.

"Mr Gru? Will you be alright?" Margo asked. She had to look down at him while she was on her bed.

Instantly the boy's features soften as he looked up to his daughter's face. "Don't worry about me, Margo. I will be fixing this. Go to sleep and I will see you in the morning."

"But if you can't, I could help you cook and clean. I'll make sure Edith and Agnes behave better."

Gru frowned. "Margo, you are a ten year old child. Granted that you spent years looking after your sisters, but I am the adult who adopted the three of you. So let me have that responsibility, Margo. Besides didn't the three of you always wanted a parent."

Margo hesitated but nodded in acceptance. She tucked herself in and Gru wanted nothing more then to kiss her goodnight on the head. Unfortunately, his current height would not allow that. He closed the bedroom door and with a look of determination he headed straight to his bedroom. If he stayed this way he would need help taking care of them and he wouldn't fully enjoy his role as a father. There was no other option he would choose, he had to get his adult body back. The sooner. The better.

* * *

DeBaucher and Dr Nefario were relaxing in the rest room with a mug of coffee each when Gru found them. "And how the Death Star exploded after Luke shot lasers in that vent! Totally awesome!"

"I agree. You know I was so inspired by that scene that I created Gru's Nova Blaster."

"Dr Nefario. DeBaucher. We need to fix this, NOW!" Gru squeaked, undermining the seriousness of his tone. The pre-teen stormed in wearing white bell-bottoms, a child size yellow turtleneck and a bright blue cardigan, clothing that he should have burned a long time ago but he had buried them deep in his bedroom closet. Gru was also thinking about shaving his head but without any help he feared that he would end up more of a laughing stock then he already was, especially if he did a terrible job. So, instead, he tied his hair back.

The adults looked at him and snickered but stopped just before the man turned child snapped. "What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with you. You're just younger now. The good doctor and I believe that you will age the same as before. Meaning you could relive your glory days when you're a bit older. But for now you could complete with that Irish kid, what's his face? The one who chases faeries…"

The younger man took a stance that was suppose to be imposing as he looked 'down' at the seated woman but he had to bend his back to do so, losing the affect it originally had. She strained her face as she withheld the urge to laugh at her new boss some more.

"Gru, she's right. You have the opportunity to do more in your career now that you're young again. Think of the plans."

"No! I need to be old enough to be a father to my girls. I will not discuss this!"

"Your girls seem very important to you, why don't you quit villainy and raise them?" DeBaucher asked.

The minions who overheard the question turned to the boy. Since the girls' return he had not spoken about what he was going to do with his henchmen. For now everyone was on standby; doing what they can while Gru plans his next heist. But there were rumours going around in the lair. Usually after a blotched heist, like what had happen with the Moon, the villain would plot something else to bring in profits but not this time. Many of the minions were nervous about their job security, yet all of them (except maybe for DeBaucher) were loyal to Gru so they patiently awaited his decision: Would he continue being a villain while being a father?

The boy looked around the room. Everyone was listening, hoping that he would continue employing them. He knew he should quit. It was the right thing to do for his girls. They would have all his attention, they would never be in danger because of his exploits and they would never lose their father due to his criminal activities. "No, I won't quit. I can't."

Relief washed over the lair and many of the minions began to celebrate. Dr Nefario ran out to the nearest intercom, "Good news, everyone! We still have a job!"

Gru allowed them some time to rejoice. Although it was wrong of him to choose this path, he knew he could never let go of it completely. Every morning he would leave the girls in the hands of Dr Nefario to commit dastardly deeds as he got his morning coffee along with some threats for the girls. Although he loved them greatly he could not deny himself. Felonious Gru was a villain through and through. He wanted everything he ever desired; to be the number one villain, to have the best evil scientist sidekick, to have an army of minions and, most recently, to be a good father to three little girls. Feeling that everyone had enough, Gru started to speak again, "Listen up, please!"

Unfortunately the boy's voice could not overcome the whoops and hollers of joy. He began to regret allowing them to continue. Suddenly the crack of a whip was heard. "QUIET!"

Everyone stopped.

Gru eyed his newest employee who was watching him. 'Not too shabby.'

"Now before we continue with the heists, I need to get my original body back. Any ideas how we are to achieve this?"

The minions in the room began to seriously think the question over. Many of them started to discuss their theories with one another, which led them to bickering and fighting. Fortunately, Dr Nefario returned to break up the fighting before DeBaucher got the chance to used her whip on them. "If we are going to get your original body back then we would need the original FOGIE device but it's being guarded. It would take all three of us to go get it. Leaving your girls unattended to. And this heist may take a few days to accomplish."

The boy pointed to the woman with his thumb. "Wait. You're telling me that she has to come with?" His voice cracked again. Thoughts of slamming his head against the nearest, metal wall was starting to sound good right about now.

"I sense that someone doesn't like me much."

'That's mostly because I don't trust you.' His fingers messaged his aching temples. So many things could go wrong with this plan if he let an unknown variable in. But he did trust Dr Nefario's judgment. "Alright, alright, fine. Look, Fred, the neighbor is willing to watch over the girls for a while but where is this device?"

Dr Nefario gave Gru a grim look, "It's locked up in the Vaults of Evil."


	4. The Vaults of Evil

Disclaimer: I do not own any intellectual property as of yet.

A/N: I hated this chapter simply because it was mostly informational and didn't have much character development when I wrote the original draft. Finally I decided to flush out more of DeBaucher's personality making this chapter a bit more exciting for me. Don't know if people are going to hate her or love her but I personally love her. Her personality is based on a video game character who, I think, is badass, minus that character's insanity. I doubt anyone will figure out who she is but then again DeBaucher is loosely based on that personality.

Anyways please read, enjoy and review. See you next weekend.

* * *

Chapter 4: The Vaults of Evil

The Vaults of Evil was a secret and private museum, owned by the richest criminal family in the world, the Ironsmith family. This family is a legend among the criminal underworld; no one has ever claimed to have met them. Even their henchmen have yet to see the people they work for. But even though they have not been seen, their presence could be felt all over the underworld. They owned the Bank of Evil and have a monopoly on the weapons and their parts through their distribution company, ACME. No criminal would ever dare to go against them; anyone willing would find themselves weaponless and broke.

The Vaults of Evil is like a trophy room to the many evil exploits and villains the family had supported throughout the years. The most notable criminals throughout history have their own display case, showcasing who they were, what they had done and the trademark weapons that they have used. There was also a display case for Gru and his feats. Replicas of his Freeze Ray and Nova Blaster were there, along with the articles on his past accomplishments. But no villain ever had set foot in the Vaults besides the Ironsmiths. No one was allowed in there and no one knows where it is. All the information Gru had about this elusive establishment was his Blu-Ray virtual tour collection that he paid for in three installments of $99.99.

"I know where it is," DeBaucher casually remarked.

"How? Do you how many villains have tried to search out the Vaults? It houses the greatest weapon collection the world would have the pleasure of seeing," Gru stared at her in disbelief.

"I just happen to know the right people. How else do you think I got the original plans for the FOGIE device?" She sneered.

"It's true, Gru. Although she didn't show me the whole blueprint, she did convince me the she had the weapon plans from the Vaults."

"How did you find out about her?" Gru eyed Dr Nefario suspiciously. He knew that the older man rarely left the lab and he would never do it to go out and socialize with young people.

"I…uh…knew about her for a while now," the doctor flushed. He didn't want Gru to know that he met her online in a Star Wars fan forum. "Said that she had these blueprints and would make the weapons if I could get her a job."

"Wait, she has more?" Gru whispered to the shorter man.

"Yes, she does. But she won't give them all up. She wants to make sure she has a career in the criminal world."

The boy's blue eyes narrowed. He knew he needed to watch out for her. If she was able to do that then logically she could start her own career as a villain with a lot of hard work, gathering her own lackeys and sidekicks. Only those forcing their way into another villain's company do it to take everything from that villain. "I seriously don't trust her and I won't allow her to work for me any longer."

"And why not, Fatso?" She was up and ready for a fight.

Gru, too, had his freeze ray ready by his side. Minions stopped to see what was happening. Others alerted more minions to the scene. This was an event of a lifetime! Soon more of the walking twinkies surrounded the woman and the boy, chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"Wait! Stop!" Dr Nefario yelled as he intervened.

"Aww…"

The enraged child faced the minions encouraging them to return to work. DeBaucher huffed and crossed her arms, annoyed that the fun had ended before it begun.

"Gru, I meant what I said before. I am getting older. With you not here to help me I fear that I cannot work to your standards like I used to. I had a sneaky suspicion that you would want to continue your career so I searched for a lab assistant to help me here. That is how I found Delilah DeBaucher. Sure she's rough around the edges and her motives are unclear but she is the best candidate for this position and quite frankly I enjoy working with her. She reminds me of you at her age."

"What? I'm nothing like that fat-ass, rude brat!"

"There's nothing that that hussy has in common with me!"

The two glared at each other. This was definitely not the way to start off a professional relationship in the work place.

Dr Nefario sighed. "All three of us have to prepare for this heist in a matter of hours. So until Gru becomes an adult again I suggest that the two of you learn to work together. DeBaucher, come, we need to get the airship ready." With that the doctor left the room leaving the woman and boy alone.

DeBaucher had to walk past Gru to follow the doctor but Gru's words stopped her before she left the room. "So how many men did you have to seduce to get to this point?"

She turned back to face him. "Why do you ask? Jealous?"

"You know I will not make your employment here pleasant so why don't you quit now before things get real nasty."

"And you think I won't do the same? If you have me all figured out then why don't you retire, you old geezer, and live peacefully with your daughters?

"I won't retire and allow you to take everything that I worked all my life for. So that still leaves me as your boss."

"Hopefully not for long," DeBaucher said under her breath as she went to join the scientist in the hanger.

* * *

A few hours later in the early day, Gru and his girls were packed and ready for the days to come, saying their goodbyes in the foyer. "Don't worry too much girls, I'll come back. It's just going be for a few days," he reasoned with the three, obviously upset, little children.

"Why can't we just go with you?" Agnes asked.

"It's too dangerous and I won't be able to spend any time with you anyways. That's the life of a spy," Gru lied. He couldn't bring himself to tell them that he was a villain. One reason for this was for their safety, he didn't want them going around telling people he was a dangerous criminal, if that happened they would be taken away. Another reason he hasn't told them was he feared their reaction. Margo had tried to bring the three of them up on good morals, learning from the injustice done to her and her adopted sisters at the orphanage. He didn't want to undermine her sense of right and wrong by announcing who he was, what he had done and what he was still doing. The last big reason was him having to explain to them that he only adopted them so that he could use them to break into Vector's stronghold and he had planned on abandoning them when the first opportunity arose.

"Just quit then!" Edith yelled. She pulled her beanie over her eyes in frustration. They had only been together for a month and now he was going to leave them again.

"You could find other employment. We could help you by working ourselves. We did before," Margo argued.

"Please don't go, Mr Gru."

He understood their frustration. He, too, was frustrated but there really was no other way. He tried to embrace all of them at once but he did not have the reach. "Girls, I need to do this for myself and for you. I cannot be a father when I, myself, am a child. I miss being able to pick you up and placing you on my shoulders. I won't be able to drive you to Super Silly Fun Land again and I won't be able to get good footage of you at your next ballet recital if I remain like this."

The girls pondered the thought of them having a boy as their father. Although they were not pleased by the idea, they did not want to be apart from Gru again.

"I will be back for you in a couple of days. For now enjoy, yourselves at the MacDade's."

"Will you walk us over there?" Agnes asked. Her large brown eyes were wet with unshed tears. In her arms she clutched the fluffy unicorn Gru had won for her at Super Silly Fun Land. She had named it, "Fluffy."

Looking at his youngest child, Gru was very tempted to do so but he didn't want Fred to question him too much. He spent hours giving the man a fake explanation about the rocket that launched from his house, stating that it was only a weather balloon. But before he could give his reasons, Margo interrupted him. "No, Agnes. Mr Gru would have to explain to Mr MacDade why he's a boy again and it might get Mr Gru in trouble. Come on, it's not too far, guys." Margo took Agnes' hand and started to leave.

"Wait! You have to pinkie pro…," tears began to fall from Agnes' eyes as she remembered her last pinkie promise with her adopted father.

Gru's blue eyes widen in realization as he took hold of the little girl's hand. He placed a finger over his heart and traced a cross, "I cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. I will be back for you, Agnes. For all of you." A small smile formed on her innocent features, pleased by the small pledge.

"Bye, Mr Gru," they all said in a dishearten tone before they left.

Margo led the five-year-old ago away and glanced back to her adopted father who watched them from the door. They didn't dare say 'Bye, Dad,' it felt too risky. For weeks they had struggled with saying the title. Saying 'I love you' to Gru came easily but calling the man (now boy) 'Dad,' even though they had written 'To Dad' on many hand drawn pictures, was extremely difficult. Maybe it was the fact that he had let them down before; they couldn't shake off the doubt that he would want to remain as their father.

Behind Margo and Agnes, Edith was pulling the rear as she dragged her bag and feet behind her in silent protest. Occasionally the young blonde would kick a rock around trying to alleviate the aggravation she had. "It's not fair. If he's going to leave us for his job, then why did he come back to rescue us?"

"He crossed his heart when he said he would come back," Agnes cheerfully replied. "So, he has to come back."

Margo didn't say anything. She had tried her best to keep them together. Although it made sense for Gru to try to become an adult she felt it was more important for them to stick together as a family. Wasn't that what families did?

* * *

The, now, boy stormed his way through the secret lair the way any child his age does: with a lot of angst. With him were two minions, Bob and Larry, flanking him. He was ready to get this mission underway so that he could be reunited with his kids.

Many of the minions were finishing off the supplies on the airship for the flight to London. As he got on the ship Dr Nefario was sitting in the pilot's chair with DeBaucher in the co-pilot's seat.

The older man turned to DeBaucher and asked, "So you really think that it's possible?"

"Well, why not? We already have laser guns now and technology is always evolving. I'm sure that one day we'll have light sabers," The woman replied back.

"Hey! Let's get this show on the road, NOW!"

"Whoa, chill fat boy," DeBaucher said as she helped the old doctor start the engines.

Not wanting to socialize with the man who wanted to steal his children's childhood or the woman who gave him a second coming of puberty, Gru went to the back of the ship to do what any other child his age would do: mope.

"Looks like someone didn't get his coffee this morning," DeBaucher said as she turned to the pilot.

"Let me tell you all about that," Dr Nefario said as he turned to her with a tired expression on his face.


	5. Family Outing

Disclaimer: Give me money so I can buy the rights.

A/N: It's September 28! Happy 50th Birthday, Gru! I worked really fast with my beta DPShrine to get this out as soon as possible. Don't expect to see chapter 6 up until October 8.

Please read, enjoy and review! I'll see you next time.

Chapter 5: Family Outing

"Have you girls eaten, yet?" asked Fred MacDade as he helped the girls bring in their bags.

"Um…not yet, Mr MacDade," answered Margo. She held on to Agnes' hand, not for the small child's comfort but her own. There was a numb feeling in her heart that she couldn't shake off.

The child couldn't help but think that Mr Gru was hiding things from them, things that would prevent them from being a real family. He had explained to them that to protect the moon from the evil spy, Vector, he had to give them up because he felt that they were safer at the orphanage then being with him. He had told them that he was wrong in giving them up and so he came back for them. They had been so happy to know that he still wanted them back. But now it felt like it was all happening again. She felt like he was burying them for safe keeping, only to take them out again when the coast was clear. Unfortunately, the solution to his problem cannot be easily remedied. To cure his condition there were high risks and a chance that it woun't work. What would happen to them if he can't be changed back? Would he send them back to Ms Hattie's if he could not become an adult again? What if something happens to him while he's gone? Margo believed that it would have been better to get use to the changes and stayed together as a family.

Investigating that woman was a mistake but Margo also wanted to know who she was. It was difficult to remain mature and restrain the other girls from doing interesting yet dangerous things, especially Edith. With their father in this condition(comma) it was up to the ten year old to keep them in line. Even when Mr Gru was an adult he didn't restrain them or punish them for any wrong doing. He didn't seem to care too about the trouble they could cause, such as when Edith blew up the lab a few weeks ago. Dr Nefario had been very angry whereas Gru gave the girl a slap on the wrist. After the day was done Edith didn't have any remorse about what she did. It was beginning to worry Margo.

Edith, on the other hand, was agitated. A small part of her knew this was her fault. Didn't Ms Hattie always say that nobody would adopt her because she was so 'spirited'? But she proved that cow wrong. Someone did adopt her. She loved Mr Gru. He never made her feel small or made her feel that she did anything wrong. At the orphanage, Ms Hattie always made sure she felt like that. Yet there were times when he disappeared making her feel abandoned. And why did he always leave that mean Dr Nefario there to watch over them? She did not like him at all.

As the two older girls worried about their future and adopted father, little Agnes just smiled. She had no problems with the world because she had a father and she believed in the sincerity of his words and, so, she'll wait.

They finished putting away their things with the help of Mr MacDade.

"Come girls, I think the misses has whipped up some soup and sandwiches," Fred said as he ushered the three girls out of the guest room. He led them into the kitchen downstairs.

"Hello again, girls," Mrs MacDade's cheery voice pulled the girls out of their respective thoughts and placed a small smile on their faces.

None of the girls really remembered their own mother. At the orphanage they had wondered if Ms Hattie was like a real mother, but they were seriously wrong. After saving up to go to ballet class they found out how real mothers were to their daughters. Although they loved their father, having a mother would fulfill their dream of having a 'family.' Mrs MacDade was the closest thing to having a mother. She was beautiful, kind, warm and loving towards them. There were times they secretly wish she was their mom. She was the big reason why they would end up in the MacDade's yard. "Come on and eat up, we have a big day ahead of us."

Mr MacDade fiddled with the kitchen radio. "In other news, NASA has launched a satellite that is equipped with a laser…"

"Why? What's going on?"

"We're going to take you girls to the zoo."

It took two hours to get from their suburban neighborhood to the metropolis zoo, it would have been less but the girls had never ventured to this part of the city. It was too far of a walk and they never had the time or money to sightsee. So the adults indulged them and stopped every so often to look at sculptures, buildings and a few parks, taking pictures where ever they went. It truly felt like a family outing for the girls but it was missing one major thing: their father. But instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of the situation they decided to make the most of the experience and enjoy themselves.

"Here we are girls," Mr MacDade announced as he picked up Agnes and placed her upon his shoulders. The small action stunned the three of them for a second.

"I'm so excited, how about you three?" Mrs MacDade said as she took hold of Edith's and Margo's hands.

"Yeah!"

Hours later they found themselves in the petting section of the zoo. A goat had cornered Edith but she liked him and continued to feed the pushy beast. Agnes couldn't stop petting a pony, telling the miniature hoarse how she wished he had a horn so she could bring him home while Mrs MacDade held her hand. Whereas, Margo was content to feed a mother duck and her ducklings.

"I'm surprised you girls haven't been to the zoo yet." Mr MacDade commented. He stood beside Margo as she squatted down to feed the ducks from her hand.

"Yeah, well, Mr Gru's been busy. But he did bring us to Super Silly Fun Land," she replied while still looking at the ducklings.

"The orphanage didn't take you here, like they do in daycare or in school?"

"…No, they didn't. There wasn't enough funding for things like that." The girl frowned. She didn't want to be reminded of her old life.

"Too bad for that. At least you always had your sisters to play with."

"Actually I didn't meet Edith until I was six. Agnes came to the orphanage just last year."

"Oh, so you three aren't really sisters."

Margo finally got up and faced the older man. "Just because we're not blood related doesn't mean we're not family." With that she stormed off to play with a potbelly pig across the barn.

The man watched the little girl walk off, not realizing that he had offended her. Curiosity got the better of him as he headed towards his wife and Agnes. The little girl would probably answer any questions that he had.

That night in the MacDade's household, Wendy MacDade gave the girls a bath before bed with a lot protest from Edith. "But why a bath! Couldn't I just wipe myself down with a damp towel?"

Mrs MacDade scrunched up her nose in disgust at the idea. "No, dear. In this house, everybody bathes before bed."

"But Mr Gru let's me do whatever I want," the blond girl grumbled.

"Edith!" Margo hissed.

"What! He does! And he let's me play with his cool spy stuff."

"Some of them are scary and go boom," Agnes added.

"So…your Dad's a spy?" The woman asked, bewildered.

"No!" Margo protested.

"Yup," Agnes chimed in.

Mrs MacDade didn't ask the girls for any more information. Edith was more then happy to tell her all about the cool things in her house as Margo tried in vain to stop her. She helped them rinse, towel and dress them before leading them to the room they were staying in.

"Oh, wait," Edith said suddenly before she was put into bed. "I got you and Mr MacDade something."

"Edith! No!" Margo frowned.

The older girl couldn't stop her. From out of the girl's bag Edith took out a mud pie.

"Edith! Oh, dear. That is filthy and you just finished with your bath," the woman chided. She took the disappointed child to the bathroom where more yelling was heard as Edith got cleaned up again. The unfortunate mudpie was flushed down the toilet.

By this time Mr MacDade came in with warm glasses of milk. And helped tuck each child in, wishing them sweet dreams. Mrs MacDade came back with Edith along with a brush to comb the girls' hair. As she brushed their hair she sang them a lullaby.

"Lullaby, and good night,

With pink roses bedight,

With lilies o'erspread,

Is my baby's sweet head.

Lay you down now, and rest,

May your slumber be blessed!

Lay you down now, and rest,

May thy slumber be blessed!

Lullaby, and good night,

You're your mother's delight,

Shining angels beside

My darling abide.

Soft and warm is your bed,

Close your eyes and rest your head.

Soft and warm is your bed,

Close your eyes and rest your head.

Sleepyhead, close your eyes.

Mother's right here beside you.

I'll protect you from harm,

You will wake in my arms.

Guardian angels are near,

So sleep on, with no fear.

Guardian angels are near,

So sleep on, with no fear.

As the two adults left them to slumber, Margo looked over to the sleeping Edith thinking that she should have a talk with her but all the events of the day had left her tired. Within seconds she, too, was out.

The childless couple headed toward the kitchen on the main floor. Mrs MacDade closed the door behind her in hopes that their conversation would not be overheard by the children. "Fred, what shall we do? The girls say that Gru is a spy! One of these days he could go on a mission and never come back! Plus his house doesn't sound like a good environment for the children."

"A spy? I guess that makes sense. He didn't seem like the dentist type to me," Fred wondered. "Maybe that was a satellite and not a weather balloon."

The two adults stood around the kitchen, going over what they had learned today about their neighbor's little girls.

The man took a seat at the kitchen table. He clasped his hands together in front of his face, as if he was asking a higher power to give him strength. "Poor little Margo, she had been in that blasted orphanage the longest. All the children there must have been unhappy due to Ms Hattie's treatment of them and so aspiring parents avoid that place like the plague."

"Yes," his wife agreed. Taking a seat across from him, she reached for his hands, grasping them, giving him and her much needed strength. "They deserve better, a real family. We could give them that."

"Mrs MacDade, are you thinking what I think you are?"

"Yes, Dear. Let's get started right away."

Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.

"He's asleep, now. "

"You know what you gotta do once you're in there, right?"

"Of course. It's no different from what you had me doing for years. Plus I did get those plans like you asked."

"I believe you'll be great, just follow my plan."

In the back of the airship a little boy and two minions were fast asleep, the boy was dreaming about being with his three little girls.


	6. Break and Enter

Disclaimer: I wished I own the Minions, Dr Nefario and Gru.

A/N: Dammit! I knew I should have made Gru wear cute kid shorts in Chapter 4 ;_; Agh, my foresight failed me. As I was writing the scene where Gru becomes an adult again I was reminded of Dead Rising suddenly. In the game the main character, Frank, could wear anything, including child size clothes (not to mention wearing a Serve Bot helmet on his head with the over stretched kid's clothes, absolutely hilarious!) Oh well, what was done is done. I shall cry now at the loss of such imagery in my story.

* * *

Chapter 6: Break and Enter

Delilah DeBaucher learned her lesson the first time: Don't go wandering the sewers of London wearing her best outfit and accessories. So instead of wearing her designer digs tonight, she opted to dress down by wearing her other pair of leather boots, jeans, a sweater and a leather jacket. She was also wearing a brown wig, fashioned in a short bob. When on the job she wanted to be unrecognizable.

Navigating the maze of tunnels using inferred goggles, the woman finally came to a dead end. She pressed a series of bricks, which caused the wall to part and allow her entry. Inside was a darken hallway that lead to a massive vault door; the large area was lit by a series of lights, much like a runway, leading straight to the main opening. Her boots echoed on the bricked surface, the sound resonated in the cavern that would have made a regular person feel slightly unnerved by the emptiness. Once at the metal door a secret panel opened, a laser shot out of a tiny gadget and scanned one of her green eyes. Afterwards the outline of a rectangular portal appeared in the seemingly 'solid' metal and sank inward. Without hesitation DeBaucher followed and walked into a seemingly endless tunnel. After half an hour of walking had passed the final entrance was within reach.

"They really need bicycles here," she said to no one but herself. She opened the hatch and stepped into the security core of the Vaults of Evil.

The guardsman looked up as she came in. "Oh, no! Please! I gave you what I could! I can't do anything more without alerting my superiors! Just, please, let's keep the whole affair about Mindy and me to ourselves. No one else needs to know."

"Don't worry, John," DeBaucher laughed. "There's a change of plans. You wouldn't need to worry about that much longer."

* * *

Five minutes later, Gru and his minions, Larry and Bob, were crawling through vents that connected to the villain display area of the Vaults. Most of the security was located in the main display floor that showcased weapons of mass destruction. Currently, there were one hundred guards in and around the Vaults, all of them were ordered to shoot first and ask questions later. Every half an hour teams of three would do a security sweep of the other hallways looking for anything suspious. Since there were so many guards and they had advanced weapons, it was pointless to fight them all. Time was their biggest enemy and that was all they needed to know. DeBaucher concluded that the security teams would be notified while they were escaping the Vaults so it was of utmost importance to get what they needed and get out as fast as they could to gain an advantage against them, that is all they could really do.

Gru was secretly impressed by the amount of intelligence DeBaucher had on the Vaults. It forced him to conclude that she must have been a spy or still is one. That fact alone unnerved him. She could be working for another villain or criminal organization trying to steal his secrets or weapons. When he was able to talk to Dr Nefario privately the older man laughed stating that he trusts DeBaucher and that Gru shouldn't worry about her stealing their secrets.

But Gru couldn't help feeling threaten by her. She had the air of someone with stature and popularity, like some high school ice princess who knew everyone's dirty little secret, reaping the benefits of those who fear and worship her. It reminded him about his horrible youth, which, it seems, he was destined to relive, courtesy of this woman. Or maybe it was just him, like Dr Nefario said. He believed Gru felt threatened by her because she was a woman.

Indeed Gru sort of viewed his lair and operations like a boys club, only recently allowing his three little girls to come visit. But now there was a definite female presence in his work place that could not be ignored. Although Gru is seen by many people as a wicked and fearsome character, he did not do well with strong women. It always seems like they were pushing him around and insulting him such as his mother, the girl that bullied him in school and his ex-fiancée; even his girls have been able to bend him to their will. Didn't he deserve at least one aspect in his life where he was away from the fairer and supposedly gentler sex?

"I hacked into the mainframe and the security cameras are off. You have about twenty minutes before the guards find you so don't touch anything else except for that display. Other than that, you're good to go," DeBaucher said through his ear piece.

The pre-teen quietly pushed the vent cover out of his way and led the two walking glow sticks to the display case. The case stood at seven feet, the FOGIE device was placed near the top; and Gru was only five and a half feet tall. This could be a problem, but having two minions to make up the difference will work in his favor. He huddled Bob and Larry together and stepped on their backs. He worked his way onto their heads so he could be level with his prize. A mischievous smile graced his features as he cut a perfect circle from the glass. He reached in, grabbed hold of the device and pulled back. A cry of victory died on his lips as the weird design of the weapon got caught in the hole he had made. Since it was able to hold his weight, Gru placed his feet against the glass to gain leverage. He pulled hard, straining all his muscles including the ones on his young face. Trying again, he gave it a hard yank but this time the force propelled him and the bagpipe device right into the display case across the way. The impact caused the case to topple over, making the alarm go off. Gru barely managed to get out of the way but was caught in a second pink explosion.

* * *

"That imbecile!" DeBaucher cried as she heard the alarms.

"I can take it from here, Delilah," Dr Nefario told her through the earpiece she wore. "Just get everyone out of there, fast!"

She took a quick glance at the security monitors. With a frown she ran into the staff room and broke into a couple lockers; grabbing some clothes, a long coat, shoes and a multi-coloured scarf. From there she hot-wired a dangerous looking motorcycle out on display that had spikes, a grappling hook and a cowcatcher in front; it also has a sidecar attached that was decorated in a similar fashion. As she drove, she kept glancing at a device that was synced up to the security system, it was able to locate a certain villain and tell her where the guards were. They were losing time so she could not afford to lose a second in a fight with any guards.

* * *

Lucky for Gru that second blast made him an adult again. Also, the display case that was destroyed was his own, giving him access to replicas of his favorite weapons. Unlucky for him, he had to fight a legion of guards wearing only his skull and crossbones boxers; like the hulk, his child size clothing became useless shreds of fabric as he grew. It felt strangely satisfying to rip off the hated outfit. Bob and Larry threw Gru's old shoes at the first wave of guards that came. He was able to freeze a lot of them, others ran away from his laser guns and the rest fell due to his karate chops. Soon more guards arrived, this time they were better prepared. Things were starting to look grim for the villain and his minions. As the guards circled him the sound of a motorcycle could be heard in the distance, screaming closer and closer. 'Oh, come on,' thought the half naked man.

He was pleasantly surprised to see that it was DeBaucher coming to rescue him. Or rip his head off judging by the look she had on her face. While she mowed down the guards to get to Gru, he grabbed the minions and prepared to jump when she was close enough. The man got into the sidecar without getting skewered by the decorative spikes. Before he got a chance to say anything to her, clothes were thrown in his face along with a device that showed the layout and design of the Vaults.

"What the…!" He quickly scanned through the pages, absorbing all the information he received.

"Gru, we need an exit," DeBaucher shouted at him not taking her eyes off where she was going.

The villain analyzed the data given to him as he put on the pair of pants she had stolen. "Head for the door."

She did a sharp turn, destroying another display case in her wake. They had to hurry; she was getting alarming news via security communication. By now the guards have gotten into tank-like vehicles designed in case a super villain ever found the Vaults. Those vehicles had an extremely long eyepiece, and two arm-like weapons; one looked like a whisk and the other looked like a kitchen plunger; the overall shape was like a human-size salt/pepper shaker traveling on tank threads. It was a weapon that had lasers and tasers, in order to maim, incapacitate or kill its enemies. Over her earpiece she heard the orders for their extermination. DeBaucher knew they had no chance of facing the guards in those vehicles so she chose a route that would slow the tanks down.

Meanwhile Gru finished dressing by wrapping the multi-coloured scarf around his neck. His scratched his head in annoyance, feeling his long, brown, curly hair was free from the hair elastic which was lost in the fight earlier. Glancing at the gadget he, too, knew they didn't have much time. Security was going to close in on them soon and there was no way to hack into the system to give them an exit, so they were going to make their own.

"It's up ahead!"

Gru stood and held the freeze ray in his left hand; he had it set to maximum and let it fire at the steel door, encasing it in ice. DeBaucher didn't dare slow down, the guards were right behind them. Crashing into the Vault door or getting caught by the guards, either way they won't survive. Any minute now and they would meet their end at the door. She had enough faith in Gru that he'll keep them alive, and although Bob and Larry do trust in their boss, they didn't act as cool as the woman. The two minions looked on in terror, screaming at the top of their lungs, clinging to one another, praying to their creator (Dr Nefario) that this will work. The tall man raised his right arm, he had powered up his Nova Blaster for this moment. Standing in a sidecar going 60 km/h, he shot a ginormous fireball into the frozen steel.

Inside the empty cavern, everything was calm and it seemed that there was no effect. Then giant shards of metal ripped across the room as Gru and company barely managed to crash head first into the Vault door, escaping through the giant gap. Gru kicked the two minions into action and they fired missiles into the brick wall up ahead. Behind them were several guards in their tanks, shooting lasers at them and missing like some cheesy sci-fi movie.

"Doctor! Get us out of here!" DeBaucher yelled into her earpiece.

"I'm above you and following your progress right now."

She grabbed Gru's Nova Blaster and fired it at the ceiling up ahead. Doing a wheelie to climb the rubble, she spotted the airship above them with the platform lowered (it was used to steal the shrink ray). She shot the grappling hook into the night sky while Gru and the minions shot at the guards behind them. The hook hit its mark and had wrapped itself around the platform. Knowing that the four of them were on their way up, the aged scientist turned the ship around, ascending at a steady rate so that his passengers don't fall. Once he had the guards in view, he fired everything he got on the ship, missing all of the guards completely but hitting the building behind them (which was One Canada Square, incidentally). After the blunder, though, the guards did a short-lived fall back until they realized there were no more attacks heading their way. But by then, DeBaucher, Gru and the minions had safely boarded the air ship and were making a clean get away.

"Well that was, certainly exciting," smiled an exhilarated DeBaucher.

Gru wanted to comment that he was too old for all this 'excitement' but found that his body wasn't feeling the normal aches and pains he usually had. He checked himself like he did the other night when he found out he was a boy again. Looking up he saw DeBaucher was also noticing the difference from when they first met.

"Am I…?"

"Old? No. Fat? A big yes," she answered. "Do you have the FOGIE device? We can get you back to your crippling age in no time flat."

Gru's surprised face fell into a frown and his body slumped into his familiar hunch over stance.

DeBaucher frowned. "Figures. No wonder Dr Nefario wanted my help." She walked away to join the scientist up front but she turned back to the villain. "And for heaven's sake, stop that slouching!"


	7. Reunion

Disclaimer: I don't own Despicable Me and its characters and those people that do don't own this story.

A/N: XDDDDD I'm glad some people caught the Doctor Who reference in the last chapter. I watched DM while I was still watching the tenth Doctor, my favorite Docter will always be the forth Doctor, so after the movie I thought it would be so cool and funny to see Gru dressed as the forth Doctor, this thinking made me start writing this whole story. I'm just so happy that I got to throw in the Daleks in this story, I know for sure what I will have during the action sequence in the next story arch and I'm dying to write it.

Speaking of the next story arch, I will be taking a breather after this chapter. Forcing myself to be on a deadline makes my creativity flow but does put under some stress. Also I would like to spend some more time with my husband and go house hunting while I get all my drafts for the second story ready.

There's also a comic based on this story on Deviant Art. Go to .com and look in my Scrap Gallery. I'm sure one day I'll colour it and make it all pretty but I'm pretty lazy right now :P

* * *

Chapter 7: Reunion

London; inside a fancy corporate office; the room was fit for any high executive but only one kind would be comfortable staying in such an ominous place. There were many items displayed due to the owner's personal taste, much like Gru's personal home, there were weapons of various sorts, preserved endangered wildlife used as rugs, mantles and other displays. Paintings of disturbing nature dotted the walls but unlike the homely feeling Gru had designed in his living space, this place was meant to make a visitor feel terror and admiration. There was also a 'Last Supper' inspired painting that had fourteen sinister looking individuals who had similar physical features, it was quite possible that it was a family portrait. The sounds of a news program could he heard throughout the room.

"Several eye witnesses have claimed that the damage in Canary Wharf, as well as the destruction of One Canada Square, was done by robotic aliens. Some say they were crying 'Exterminate! Ex…" A thrown axe destroyed the TV.

"I want to know who is responsible for this!" A deep, raspy voice boomed from behind a chair. The masculine voice had an accent that was definitely that of a well-educated Englishman.

"Sir," a female secretary spoke up. Unlike her employer she had an American accent. "All footage from the Vaults has been erased. Few of the guards came forward with vague descriptions of the suspects. There is no clear explanation for the break in except that a lot of money had been taken last night, as well as some weapons and the Impaler's motorbike. The estimated damage is in the millions with some of the missing or destroyed items being one of a kind."

"A whole collection of various weapons for the taking and all they took was money?" It was silent for a few moments before the man spoke again. "How? What about the stolen weapons? Were we able to trace them?"

"It seems that they were to disabled the tracking devices within them and used the weapons to fight off the guards. Even the motorbike had been disposed of and its remains lay North of London. Professor Nimnuls' FOGIE device was also destroyed. It may have been the objective of last night's raid since the security breach was reported to be around there but the weapon itself is pretty harmless. Felonious Gru's weapons were taken but they are a dime a dozen. Most villains have their own version of the freeze ray and Nova Blaster. Maybe the whole thing was a distraction so that they could get to the money. The whole money vault is just gone."

"Why don't the guards have a better description of the suspects?"

"We don't know, sir. There was a man and he was described as being tall, overweight with a large nose. That description fits sixty percent of the villains currently operating in Europe alone. No one was able to describe the woman since she was a blur on the motorbike. There were also two midgets, possibly children, involved."

"Wonderful. We have no choice but to restructure due to the financial loss. But I still want answers. Get our best men on this."

As the woman turned to leave, the man behind the chair called her back again. "Also, bring me news about my daughter, Mindy, after you are done."

* * *

It was midnight by the time Gru returned home.

After disposing the unwanted items, they were able to run tests on Gru during their trip home. It seems that he has re-aged to his early thirties. Gru was unsure how he should react to the news. Apparently his face was much smoother looking, his back was straighter and he didn't weight as much as he had when he was fifty-one years old; it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities that he went under cosmetic surgery to look this way. But the hair had to go.

Unlike most people whose hair could complement their style, Gru's hair just looked out of place on him. He had kept his hair before because it was the accessory to have during the seventies and eighties. Handfuls of hair started to fall out when he was thirty-five years old. After a few years all he had left was a tuff on top and a bit around the sides. Finally he got annoyed with how he looked and used a laser on his head to permanently get rid of the remaining hair, which was the other bane of his existence. And like before he enlisted Dr Nefario to help him become bald yet again.

The cool evening air felt nice against his bare scalp as he stepped out of his suburban home. The villain looked around his quiet neighborhood. Since the moon heist, many of his neighbors had put their houses up for sale and left, this suited Gru just fine, except that one of those 'For Sale' signs was on Fred McDade's property.

"GIRLS!" Gru jumped the fence and squashed his neighbor's perennials. He kicked the front door down and ran in. His heart sank; there was nothing inside, nothing that showed anyone living there.

* * *

In a cabin somewhere out in the country, the sun was still low in the bright early morning.

"Isn't it beautiful girls? The Great Outdoors!"

"Yeah…great," Edith grumbled. The zoo was great, shopping the next day would have been fun if Mrs MacDade didn't force her to try on a billion frilly dresses and shoes. She didn't mind doing ballet with her sisters but forcing her to take off her beanie and wearing stupid girly dresses crosses the line. She was fine with what she had; stripped top, pink skirt, leggings and white galoshes. Now they were camping, if she wanted to sleep on the ground she would have went back to the orphanage. It wouldn't have been so bad if she had been allowed to collect bugs, slugs, etc., but she was told not to by Mrs MacDade and she wasn't allowed to explore on her own.

"Um…Mr MacDade? Why did you pack everything just for a camping trip?" Margo asked. She had a funny feeling about this outing. After the zoo the MacDade's have tried extra hard to make the girls happy. Yesterday, they went shopping and bought a lot of toys and clothing for them. Although Margo was grateful for everything she and her sisters got, she just wasn't sure why they would buy so many things for them when they had most of those things at home and their father should be coming back for them soon.

"Well you never know, Margo."

"You even brought the matching toilet seat and lid covers," Margo hinted to the detached outhouse.

"Honey, now that we're more or less settled, let's tell them," Wendy MacDade said as she carried Agnes to the fire pit where the others were sitting.

"Alright…girls, we enjoyed having you stay with us and we have concerns about…"

"FRED!" Overhead, Gru's airship slowly lowered to a clearing near by. Before the aircraft was able to properly land, Gru jumped out followed by DeBaucher. Dr Nefario decided to stay inside, he didn't really want to be there but the woman insisted that he fly while she figured out where they were going and yelled at Gru about not knowing anything about his own neighbors.

"Mr Gru!" The girls wanted to run to their adopted father but the MacDades stopped them.

"What gives!" Edith cried.

"Gru? Is that you? What happen?" Fred asked. The weight loss was quite apparent on Gru's form when he wore his usual outfit. Plus it has only been a few days since they had seen each other.

"It's nothing. What are you doing with my girls?" The villain was angry. Angier then when Vector had kidnapped the girls. This time, it was someone he didn't expect do such a thing.

"Gru, we heard from the girls that you're a spy! Considering the dangerous lifestyle you have and the girls' sad past don't you think they deserve a better, stable life?" The husband stood and motioned to the girls and his wife to move towards the cabin

Gru stopped; he stood about ten paces from his friendly neighbor. He had dreaded something like this would happen, an opportunity for the girls to leave him to go to a better family. He loved being with them for that one month when they returned to him but he knew he wasn't perfect and didn't have the energy to keep up with them.

They were so full of life, always running and playing; it was a miracle when they would just sit down and pretend to have tea with him. Although he enjoyed playing with them, their version of fun was different then his. They liked to build things while he preferred to blow things up; they would play nice while he would play mean; they drew things that they loved while he drew things that he was going to steal. That is why he left early every morning, to do some villainy; yet these daily dirty deeds were nothing compared to the heists that he could be doing if he didn't have to worry about the girls' well being or their approval. He enjoyed the thrill of taking things no other villain would have thought of stealing or just was unable to due to a lack of funds or help. Going to the Vaults was very similar to the jobs he had done before, although he acted cool with DeBaucher, he had felt the thrill as well. He couldn't imagine his life not having those kinds of adventures anymore.

Gru, as a father, agreed with Fred that the girls deserved better. He could get another job to support the girls, one that was less dangerous such as a cat burglar or he could get into embezzlement; jobs that were not so far off from his own but they didn't offer the glamour or excitement of being a super villain. Although he gave up the moon for the girls he couldn't change his whole life to give them a normal upbringing that they probably wanted. He was definitely the father they didn't deserve and he knew it. If he couldn't be the father the girls needed, then he should give them to one who was.

"What? What are they saying?" Edith looked upward to Mrs MacDade.

"Mr MacDade is saying that Mr Gru shouldn't have us because he's a spy," Margo stated.

"Yes, girls. He could disappear on one of his missions leaving the three of you behind. We don't have a dangerous life like Mr Gru so it would be better for the three of you to live with us."

"But Mr Gru was the one who adopted us from the orphanage. He got me a fluffy unicorn and wrote us the best book ever! We can't leave Mr Gru!"

"Yeah, he listens to us. He makes us pancakes that look like dead guys and doesn't treat us like stupid girls."

"Plus we already accepted him as our father," Margo added.

"Oh, girls, no," Mrs MacDade said. "It's best for you to live with us; we could be you new Mommy and Daddy."

"Let me go!" Agnes cried as she struggled in the woman's arms.

Gru wanted to do the right thing for the girls but his black heart didn't allow him. "I'm sorry Fred but I'll be taking the girls back home."

Mrs MacDade struggled to hold on to the struggling five year old while trying to drag the other two toward the cabin. Suddenly Agnes was taken from her and she lost her grip on the other two girls.

"Come on, girls," DeBaucher said in a cool tone. "Your father wants you to come with him." She called for some minions to collect the girls' things from the cabin.

"No! You can't take them from me!"

"I'm sorry," Edith said as she kicked Mrs MacDade in the shin. Afterward she ran towards Gru, "Dad!"

The title was unexpected and threw the two men into emotional confusion. Agnes struggled a bit before DeBaucher put her down, "Daddy!"

Not wanting to be the last, Margo ran as well, "Dad!"

They jumped on Gru, breaking Mr and Mrs MacDade's hearts.

Gru just wanted to enjoy his little reunion with his girls. DeBaucher supervised the minions collecting things from the cabin. Jerry, Stewart and Kevin were among the minions that followed and they got the girls bags but the others seemed to have collected things not owned by the children.

The MacDades watched the Minions in horror. They noticed the old scientist and the woman with a whip wearing something that was tight and leather. Their questioning eyes also fell on the airship that had Gru's logo on it.

As the minions returned, Dr Nefario started the engine and hovered a few feet off the ground so that Gru and DeBaucher had to help to girls up.

"GRU!" Fred yelled. "What are you? What are you doing with those girls? Do you honestly think that they'll be happy with you? Or be safe with you!"

Gru didn't want to think about those things, he knew that he couldn't live without his girls again. The tall villain turned back to the couple that kidnapped his children; he took out his freeze ray and blasted them with it. A dark smile graced DeBaucher's face as she looked at the frozen people yet it turned to annoyance when she looked at her employer. She climbed into the airship and the man followed. The woman started heading towards the front of the ship when Gru stopped her. With a serious expression he said, "Thank you for finding the girls for me."

Her emerald eyes looked up at him for several minutes until she nodded, breaking his grip on her arm she began to walked away.

"Daddy, who's that lady?" Agnes asked.

Gru smiled. "When did you girls decide to start calling me that?" He got down to their level so that they did not have to stare up at him.

Margo blushed. Although she felt that calling him Dad was the right thing to do, she couldn't help but remember that there was a time she believed he was never going to be her father.

'We just started today, d'uh," Edith proudly declared. She jumped at him and gave him a hug. The unexpected action nearly toppled him over.

"Yeah, because you're already our Daddy, we don't need another one, "Agnes added. She also came up and hugged the large villain.

"Are you sure? You could have had a Mommy and a normal life if you stayed with the McDades?"

"Well, we don't need a mom unless she's with you." Margo joined in the group hug. "We're family already and you're not supposed to choose who stays or goes in a family or else that's not really a family, is it? We should stick together. The three of us love you."

Gru was so touched by what they have said that he began to get teary eyed and his hands started to tremble. He held the three of them close to him to calm himself down and to also feel their warmth. Never again will he abandon them to other people.

"You didn't answer my question," Agnes said.

"Yeah, who's the lady?" Edith added.

Gru frowned. His happy family moment was ruined. "She's Dr Nefario's new Lab Assistant, Delilah DeBaucher."

* * *

Out in space.

"The reprogramming of the satellite is complete. I'll have my revenge on you Gru, if it's the last thing I do! OH YEAH!"


End file.
